Sunday, December 19, 2010

Tis The Season

It's that beautiful time of year again! The halls are decked, the bells ring, and the angles sing, for the coming of our New Born King!
Merry Christmas!!!
I know for sure you have all heard the same old thing year after year! About the REAL meaning of Christmas!
Well I guess it's kind of become something different to everyone. But it ultimately is read  in the name of the holiday.... CHRISTmas! :) soooo as the bumper sticker says; "Keep the CHRIST in Christmas!"
And remember to prepare you hearts for the coming of Our King and Lord Jesus Christ! :)


 

Friday, December 17, 2010

God Bless the Broken Road

I don't get it guys!
People in general are soooo depressing! And I just ask WHY!? Why on earth are you depressed all the time?! I mean of course EVERYONE has their moments where things get down... even me, and THATS sayin somethin! ;)

I can understand tragedies happen, people get hurt, and life just can seem like an acorn calf!... but things can and WILL look up if you let them.

GOD is watching over ALLL of you, weather you chose to believe it or not! The Big Man will never give you more than you can handle...! We all have our own level of suffering to endure, but, God Bless the Broken Road! RIGHT!? Good can come from a tragic situation!

I have a friend who had a theory going for a while.
I would say "its all good Ryan...", Ryan would reply "Nah Kat, its not all good, it never is! As soon as something good happens, it all falls apart, and its terrible again. So no, its not 'all good'... 'it goes'!"
 hmm "It goes"
Isn't that interesting!? Because I mean the same could be said in opposite... "its all terrible", "no its not, things always begin to look up".
Maybe... But, I just know that it is what YOU make it, sooo MAKE it all good!!!

Life is an AMAZING opportunity we are all given... and I don't know about Ya'll, but I was only given one... and I'm going to LIVE it to the fullest, THE RIGHT WAY! MY life is too short to sit around as a lame horse crying about the littlest things! OR even the big things, because I KNOW that things can hurt, and leave a scare, and mark your heart for the rest of your life... but what are you gonna let come from those scares? The sufferings...? or the blessing it could bring...? It all depends on what YOU decide to dwell on.

I tell people these things, and they always say to me "well Kat you haven't experienced heart ache!"... Oh but I have, and I see the beauty all this suffering has brought to my life. And I see JUST how much God has blessed the broken road.
I didn't really know my dad, I lost him when I was 5 years old, When I was 9,my big brother was in an accident came out brain damaged, and was never the same again. My Mom was taken from me by cancer when I was 12. I practically raised my baby brother and sister, then I was kept from seeing them for 6 years. Just a month ago, my baby brother was killed by a car.

I sometimes feel as though, my whole family was taken from me.... But... No, they will always be with me, and I still have a WHOLE bunch of family and friends here to help me, and God watching over me, guiding me through my life! And good has come from all my suffering!

Sooo look at it this way...

God Blessed the Broken Road that led me straight to you... Its time to live life guys :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

What hurts the Most

Riverside County coroner's officials this morning identified a 14-year-old boy who died last night when he was struck by a car while walking along a street in the Jurupa area.
Ian James Griott of Riverside was walking on Limonite Avenue about 80 feet east of Camino Real about 7:16 p.m. when he was struck, according to the Riverside County coroner's office. He died about 7:24 p.m.
The California Highway Patrol is investigating the death.
"I was at the scene just moments after it happened. I saw him laying in the street and didn't know that he had died until the Sherriff Deputy covered him with a white sheet. I was just driving to the store when I saw this, and I talked to some of the witnesses. They told me that they saw the boy get struck by a small sized car, then was thrown into the air. On his way down he was struck by a SUV that was behind the smaller car. The smaller car fled the scene while the SUV pulled over to help the boy. Very sad. there is a shopping center and 7-11 across the street, maybe that's where he was going."

"He was on his way to see his girlfriend and walked out into traffic was struck by a car, and was killed instantly."


When someone dies, there is a terrifying feeling that enters you. Weather you knew that person or not, you still feel this deep shutter of sadness over whelming your body and your heart. Death is known to be a sad thing, because of the loss that comes with the death of a loved one. And that is completely true, death is a sad thing to endure. Everyone will miss that person who has left us.
But then I wonder to myself... "is that selfish of me?"... Because if you think bout it, that person, could be up in heaven with Our Lord, Our Father, who created us. We ALL yearn to be with Him, even if you don't feel like it, YOU DO. Thats how we were created, to love Him and to be with Him. So when a person leaves his earthly life down here with us, he is really possibly journeying to his ETERNAL life with our Father, who we all love! So I SHOULD be happy for that someone who has died, because he has a chance to meet God! To be eternally happy, carefree, and pure in heaven with Father! 

But of course, I KNOW, that doesn't make the tears or pain any better. But knowing in my heart that He is in a better place, helps, a little bit, right? Maybe, just maybe. It hurts though, you know? It's this unfathomable pain that you cannot possibly explain that just consumes all your thoughts your dreams, and your reality. It sometimes makes your mind unreal, and scattered, in shock. It makes you want to cling to and hold dear to EVERYTHING and EVERYONE you know! But it hurts, and thats why you grab hold to the things you know will hold firm... but then again.... you thought that person you loved would hold firm too, thats why you didn't worry before... but now you do.

See, well, I guess I should tell you the reason for all of this.

Ian James Griott of Riverside, was my little brother.
I had practically raised my baby brother for the first 8 years of his life. Until my mom, Carrie, passed away, and then I was not able to see my little brother Ian, or my little sister Erin. 6 years had gone past and I was only talking on the phone as an acquaintance to him, because he never saw me. He was turning into a young man, and I wasn't there to see it happen. And one day there was an article in the paper two days later, much like the one above. And it was confirmed that my Little brother, who wasn't so little anymore, was gone. And I didn't even know him. I think thats what hurts the most, that I loved him so much, but never had the opportunity to to know him. 

When people ask me if Im ok, I tell them I am... because thats what I feel I'm suppose to say... but I guess thats a lie because, I'm not doing ok.... I will make it out ok I guess... I wish I could tell you the way I feel... I cant tell you what it really is, I can only explain what it feels like... and right now, it feels like I'm being choked at the wind pipe. It feels like a constant wet face, when Im alone. A serious head ache... from the crying... shaking from, the sadness... and sore stomach from the nerves... feeling as if, I have nothing to do... or, not KNOWING what to do! I don't know why it feels this way, but it does! All the time. And I put on a good face, for the crowd which can be easy and ok...but when the silence hits me, it hits hard, and then everything falls apart.

 Ian had just turned 14 on November 5th... and was killed on Nov. 12... The last time I saw Ian my baby brother, he was 8... and I DONT even really know what he would look like now... 

I KNOW though, that by the Grace of God, I will be ok, my family will be ok, and God will bless the broken road. I KNOW He WILL!!!

Sweet Sweet Sound


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